Those of us in our 70’s and 80’s, are the “elderly” they are referring to in the media. We don’t think of ourselves as that? We are cooking up a storm, taking our walks, taking care of our spouses, if we are still lucky enough to have one, and figuring out how to meander through this new life we have been thrown into. We have time to read one book after another and to pass them on to our friends as they do to us. We watch and read the news until one day we have had enough. Netflix becomes our new best friend and the newest shows are what we try to discuss, instead of politics. “What are you watching?” We ask one another, and write down, studiously, what to watch next. We can’t wait to pass on a good documentary or series. This is what our life is about now. We help our neighbors who need us, and ask for help if we need it, but we are doing it, nevertheless. We are cheering on our children and grandchildren and appreciating every turn their lives take. We look at their journey in wonder and nod to ourselves and say, “it is their world now,” a little wistfully at times, I must admit, but always with great admiration. We reach out to our dear friends and realize that though the circle might get smaller, those of us in it are precious to one another. We didn’t get it, before this crazy world started, how much a phone conversation between friends could mean. A drop off at the door of someone else’s home cooked meal, is like a bouquet of the sweetest roses. Maybe this entire Pandemic was to shake up our senses, otherwise, what possible sense could it make? We have losses, because at our age, people are leaving us for the next world. We are learning how to accept loss in all forms. Loss of friends, loss of youth, loss of strength, and so it goes.
Life is harder and easier at the same time right now, harder, because we are caught inside our four walls without a gathering of our flock but easier because our calendars are mostly bare except for a zoom call or two. Life continues. We replace the dishwasher, pay the plumber and the TV man and look around the house to see how we can make it more comfortable. Our homes become our world. We are not expected anywhere. We walk from one room to another as if it were in a different location. We play cards. And dominoes. We play music, we do anything not to turn on the TV for a while. What luxery! I know younger people don’t have that luxery
because it is their turn to be busy with their children and help solve the world problems. It is our turn to observe and enjoy. No, don’t tune out, that’s not what I mean. We want to leave this world we live in a better place for our children and grandchildren. We help, however we can. We stay interested and mentor whomever wants our wisdom. We won’t see what will become of our future generations and the world they will inhabit, but that’s alright! I’m confident they will do a miraculous job!
I want to tell all my friends out there who are at such great “risk:” don’t forget, we are still tough; we are able to keep ourselves mentally strong and ride through this. When this is all over, please God may that be soon, we will no longer be “the elderly at risk,” we shall return to doing whatever it is we do...and do well—whether it’s being a Nana, a Mother, a Papa or Dad a philanthropist, a wife, husband politician, entrepreneur, writer or artist. I don’t want us to think that this is our last “hoorah.” As usual, I just want this to be a blip in the road. I think we are going to come out into a kinder world. One where we will not only appreciate our first responders more, but love our neighbors, friends, family and appreciate every kind gesture that is done for us. We will want to look for ways to help others. I don’t think we will come out to the same world that we knew, where we took a lot of things for granted, and that’s a good thing. You can feel the need for friendship and the love of people in the air. I’m looking forward to the life that’s going to be shown to us and that we are going to partake in. So, buck up, my sisters and brothers in aging. Let’s cook our new dishes, send for takeout, social distance with our friends, wear our masks, look forward to the quarantine lessening, and our world opening slowly in the near future to a newer, kinder life.
People, at our age, have many mountains yet to climb, large or small, we will climb them! You will see!
Hi Friends, this is my blog for March
I slipped from pretty into good looking for her age quite without notice,
Perhaps Jane Fonda can handle both but, somehow, I couldn’t hang on
I think it had something to do with those two quite significant swollen pieces of skin, on my face, one under each eye
At first, I tried to think they were sensual and soulful, like Anna Magnani in a De Sica film, the images floating like a dream in my head.
But reality knocked and, I had to face that they were from sleepless nights manifesting them selves by the loose skin of aging.
Then there are the wrinkles, so if I had my eyes fixed, what would I do about them?
As if I slip covered my couch , what about the club chairs ?
If I told you my age, you would laugh at me because at 85 I still worry about these trivial things while I live in a time of roulette
If we land on one number we live, one number we die
Am I that shallow still
or is it because I grew up in a house
where our worth was judged by our beauty?
If my destiny is to live another 15 years then I must learn to look at myself as a glorious piece of antique architecture, nicked and rained on but
still interesting to behold
No more Santa Cookies, no more chocolate. NO more coffee cake, stuffing, ham, turkey sandwiches from leftovers, cranberry sauce, ice cream. No more loafing around on the coach! Time to stop spending money!
It’s over! Let’s face it. We have milked it. It’s almost February.
Time to go back to exercising full time, not once in a while. During the holidays, I was on a pill, that, as a side effect, made me lose weight (I didn’t take it for that), and then I got too thin! Can you imagine? I ate everything. I wanted and kept losing weight. It tricked me! Well, I went off the pill and still kept eating (the weight came running back on). All I can say is it’s: TIME TO STOP!
Time to start writing, full time, walking every day, answer the emails that I said I’ll get to after the holidays. Time to get back to the dentist, and the doctors. Time to call the handy man, the plumber, the carpet cleaner, you know, like real life.
In a way, it’s a big relief. Yeah, a schedule. Let me find one again.
This was a long Holiday. It went on forever. We did a fun thing, in the middle, and went to LA and stayed at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel (with Sophia, of course) for a few days. The hotel had all the trimmings: a galore of Xmas trees, elves, mistletoes and on. It was beautiful!––And it felt like we went to New York without having to go to the airport, we walked up and down Rodeo like tourists. We had a tea at the hotel for our family. We celebrated Xmas Eve at my son and daughter-in-law’s house and Xmas morning at my daughters. We saw a movie on Xmas day and celebrated Hanukah in-between all this. The kids were all home from school. We spent time with all the children and grand children––they have all grown a foot since thanksgiving… or am I just shrinking that fast? Either way, It was great!
They have all gone back to school and now we should go back to some kind of routine. It’s hard to remember what a routine is at this stage of our lives. Actually, no one cares if we stay in bed all day and watch the Simpsons from morning till night. So we have to make our own routines. Ones where we need to be accounted for.
We can do this. We just have to remember what our life was made up of before the Holidays. Luckily, I have a few writing assignments to work on so that will take a while… once I remember how to write. As soon as I get one thought in my head, I’ll get right on this.
The first step I have to do is accept the fact that walking the dog in my pj’s, slippers, a raincoat, bed head, and sunglasses is not OK.
At least warm ups. Come on.
We raise our glasses to wish you health, warmth, love and a big serving of happiness
May all your dreams and wishes come true in this New Year.
Sent with all our love,
Beverlye and Bob
Capri, June 2019
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